Stop the Presses!

News today confirmed rumors that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are having a baby, sending millions of US Weekly and People Magazine readers into a simulteanous, country-wide fit of seizures and long distance phone calls to their former sorority sisters. When asked about the situation, a spokesman from Sprint PCS said "This is very exciting and important news. The phone lines have been jammed all day. We're all just wondering, is the baby's middle name going to be Garcia?"

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Even though I simply do not care, at all, it is pretty hard to avoid this type of news. In case you didn't know, the Garcia thing above is in reference to one of Angelina's adopted kids' middle names being Marley (Bob Marley). This is not something I wish I knew. I wonder what actually relevant and important news story was replaced by Angelina and Brad on CNN?