An Evil Plot (A Parody of Straight Talk Radio)

INT. MOVIE STUDIO OFFICE -- NIGHT
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Deep rafts of smoke fill the air. "I Will Survive" is barely audible through the walls, coming from another room in the building. We see a room filled with a faint light. Two men are sitting at a conference table speaking, and the sparkling skyline of Los Angeles is visible through the windows behind them.

MAN (despondent)
You know, I can't find enough dates in this town. I don't know what to do.

OTHER MAN
Well, don't worry about that now. We've got to decide which of these scripts are a go.

MAN
I'm just so depressed, I can't think about this now.

OTHER MAN
Well, maybe you're not trying hard enough. There's gotta be a way to find more eligible guys out there.

MAN (surprised, shocked look on his face)
I've got it!

OTHER MAN
Got what?

MAN
The answer to my problem!

OTHER MAN (confused)
Huh?

MAN
Let's back a gay cowboy movie!

OTHER MAN
What on earth are you talking about?

MAN
Well I need more dates, right?

OTHER MAN
Right.

MAN
Well, we can make this gay cowboy movie. And we'll give it a sad ending. And it will win Oscars. And then do you know what will happen?

OTHER MAN
Uh, no, what?

MAN
Millions of straight men across the country will see this movie, and instantly become gay. We can homosexualize America! It's brilliant!

OTHER MAN
You really need to lay off the crack, man.